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Subject:A rejectin Hotline for losers
Time:12:31 pm
Some loser emails me out of the blue his phone number with this message
"Please call me mistress. I'm ready to serve"

I in turn email him back this:
I don't call slaves but you can call me. My number is 305-503-0846 

Goddess Amazon

The number I gave him is a rejection number and when you call it a pre-recorded message tells the caller that they are calling a rejection hotline and that the person who gave them this number didn't want them to have their real number in the first place. Then the recording begins to call them all sorts of names like loser, dumbass, etc. This is an excellent tool for no nonsense dommes like myself who have no time to play "back and forth" emails with some of these clueless men.

Ladies, please feel free to use it yourself if the situation arise.

You can thank me later.
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Subject:This message goes out the vanilla females
Time:09:50 am
Current Mood:cheerfulcheerful
Please be advised that this message is not directed to women with open minds or who are in open relationships. This is a message dedicated to the vanilla ("normal") women out there.


If you are currently in a relationship of any kind with a man who is fucking you well and you are overjoyed with his performance in bed, please keep it to yourself unless you wish to share your man with your sex deprived female friends!!!!

Listen? I know we as women love to share good news. I understand. Really, I do! However, don't be surprise to find out later down the road that the female "friend" you have been bragging to for months about the awesome dick action you're receiving is ALSO getting the same treatment from your man behind your back. Personally, I don't blame her. Did you know that a good fuck is hard to fine? Of course you do, that's why you can't keep your mouth shut about the good fucking you are getting now.

Women like myself who are use to good sex never brag to their female friends about it unless we are offering his bed services. Truth be told I have done this a few times. Oh don't be shocked!  I have had some sex that was so mind blowing that I felt it was my obligation to past the experience on to my female friends. As a matter of fact, I felt as if it was civil duty to pass it on. I have come to realize that a man who is that good in bed should not feed his dick to just one woman. I believe it is his life purpose to spread the joy around. No need to be selfish ladies................there's plenty for everybody. ;)

So in conclusion, if you happened to get involved with a man who is working your vajayjay the right way and you want him all to yourself...................THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT HIM AND HIS IMPECCABLE SEX SKILLS! 
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Subject:I need to be a little dramatic here
Time:06:31 am
Current Mood:amusedamused
Ladies and Gentleman! I currently have an ass that is 44 inches!

I was watching CNN this morning and I saw one of my Ex-slaves on TV. Apparently he was voted into Congress this year in the Republican seat. I haven't seen him in over three years.

I decided to be celibate until I get my ripped body back!

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Subject:So am I the only one experiencing this?
Time:01:18 pm
Current Mood:curiouscurious
This morning I got a very unique email from a woman who claims to be a porn star. I'm not gonna reveal her name because she asked me not to. However, when I first got the email I thought it was bullshit so I deleted it without replying back. Two hours later I get another email from her stating that she is willing to prove who she is via webcam from her membership site. Hmmm? Ok, I'm not totally convinced but I'll bite the bait. So I replied back telling her that I'm at the computer now so it's best to do it now or not at all. So 5 minutes later I get an email which included her website, username and password along with a link to her private webcam. I'm not too eager to go through all of this so I replied back to her and told her that I'm not doing all of that.  I told her to log onto either Skype or Yahoo Messenger and I'll verify her identity that way instead of going through the website. When she replied back "Sorry but I don't have skype or yahoo messenger" my reply back to her was "Download it or get lost".

I thought that would be the end of it but nope, minutes later she sent me an email stating that she is currently online on skype and gave me her skype name so that I can see that it's really her. Still skeptical I logged onto my skype account and accepted her friendship request. When she turned her webcam on, sure enough it was indeed her. So now I'm confused. Why would this chick come after ME????? I did a google search of her and according to the internet she is well known in the adult video world. She's a new fresh face in the porn scene and won several AVN and other adult honor awards.

Here's the deal, home girl is a very Bi and she likes to submit to women only in D/s play. She's also a hardcore masochist and loves to play hard with "big" Dommes. She's coming to Hamburg in two weeks to promote her new video and did a search of Pro Dommes here in Germany and found me. She wants to barter services. I dominate her in exchange for sex or have sex with her during a hardcore maso session. I turned her down. She spent the next several dminutes trying to get me to change my mind but failed. So after that we just spent the rest of the time talking an asking each other various questions about our profession.

Long story short we end up liking each other as friends because she's pretty funny and has a great sense of humor. We spent most of the time on webcam laughing our asses off. When she comes to Hamburg she's gonna either come to Berlin to see me or send for me to come see her in Hamburg. This is strictly platonic............NOTHING SEXUAL. We are just meeting as new friends.

What do you guys think about this?
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Subject:Germany (Berlin) through the eyes of an American.
Time:01:00 pm
Germany through the eyes of an American.

The longer I stay in Berlin the more I become immune to the difference between here and America. So I thought it would be a good idea to take pictures of my daily activities in addition to sharing my views, opinions and experiences in Deutschland.

This entry will be ongoing however, it will not be consistent. I don't know when or how often I'll update this entry but when I do,  I'll announce it on my twitter account http://twitter.com/goddessamazon

So today is Monday September 27, 2010. Since I have German language class at 9AM I wake up at 5AM to head off to my gym at 6AM so that I can get a two hour workout before going to school. So let's start from me leaving out my front door.

The Elevator!

Elevator Door

Now you're probably wondering why in the hell did I take a picture of an elevator. Well let me tell you. My building has 5 floors and it's furnished with an elevator which is considered a luxury in Berlin. Believe it or not there are lots of apartment buildings here in Berlin without elevators. I shit you not. When I was looking for an apartment back in March I had several landlords show me apartments on the 4, 5 and even the penthouse level floor with NO ELEVATORS!!! As soon as I was climbing all those fucking stairs I knew without a doubt I wasn't going to get the apartment!!! So after several involuntary cardio sessions while apartment shopping I learned quickly to ask two questions before scheduling an appointment to see an apartment.
  1. What floor is the apartment on?
  2. Does the building have an elevator?
I have lived in two areas of Berlin so far. My first place was on the 4th floor and now my new place is on the 3rd floor and both buildings have working elevators. BTW - The elevator is always clean and never smells like a urinal. It's very small though and can only hold about 2 average size people or one fat person.

My Gym

McFit BigMcFit small

This is my gym McFit. I love this gym and so far it seems that this one in Wilmersdorf is the biggest and best in Berlin. When I finish with my German language classes I'll take the time to visit the other gyms in the Berlin area to see if any match up to this one. The best thing I like about this gym is that it's open 24 hours 7 days a week. This is important because Germany can go a little overboard with the holidays and the other gyms will either close early or won't open at all. No matter what day it is this gym will always be open. This is what gym rats like myself long for. Oh and the price is only 16,90 euros a month. When you sign up you have to pay 16 euros (or maybe 19) for your membership card and then you're billed from your bank account every month. With this price and your membership card you're allowed to visit all the McFits in Germany and Austria as often as you like. This is a fantastic deal! This gym in Wilmersdorf has the best weight lifting equipment so far but I'll visit the other gyms next month to see if this is still true.

women's locker roomEmergency Exit

The picture on the left is the door to the woman's locker room. Umkleide is the feminine version of Umkleideraum which means changing or dressing room. Damen means ladies. This is good to know because when you go to some restaurants here in berlin you'll see the letter "D" on one doors and the letter "H" on the other door. If you're a woman go into the bathroom with the "D" on it and if you're a man go into the door with the "H" on it. The letter "H" is for Herren which means Gentlemen.

The second door has this green sign which is very popular here in the EU region. This is Europe's version of an EXIT sign. Our exit sign is red and black and their exit sign is green and white.

The third picture is the door to the bathroom. If you're in Germany and you need to go to the bathroom just look for the initials WC which means "Water Closet". Yes this is an English term that goes back to the early years (19th century). A bathroom just meant a room with a bath in it. Toilets were oudoors back then but when indoor toilets started to happen a clothes closet was often converted to make room for a toilet and the name water closet came into use.

Why McFit cost 16.90 euros a month

If you're not a gym rat, powerlifter or spontaneous cardio queen then McFit is not for you. The only reason I joined this gym is because they had great weight lifting equipment. However, they don't have aerobics classes, saunas, steam rooms or a swimming pool. You also have to pay to take a shower here. The above pictures displays the showers that cost 50 cent and it last for 5 minutes. LOL!!!! 

What you do is put a 50 cent coin in the machine (right pic) and then one of the showers come on and stays on for 10 minutes. If you want a longer shower then you have to put in 1 euros or more. I think 1 euro gives you 25 minutes but I'm not sure. I personally don't use these showers because the water here in Berlin is very hard and full of synthetic calcium and lime which dries the shit out of your skin. If you're black do not, I REPEAT do not wash your hair with this water. Use bottled water instead. I have a water filter for my shower in my apartment that I brought in Atlanta at Home Depot. So when I am really sweaty I just go home and take a shower in my home with my water filter. The Germans here will swear on their life that their water is the best water in the world. Every time they say this I just give them an eye-roll and keep on going. Debating with them on how fucked up their water is a waste of time. I'll talk about the water situation later in this entry. I have a lot to say about the water here and the people's belief that it's good. That in itself deserves in own entry.

Another reason for the low price is that there's no hot water for the sinks in the bathrooms. Don't get me wrong, they do have a hand dryer that blows out hot air but there is no hot water to wash your hands in. According to the Germans heat to warm the water cost money and if we want hot water we have to pay for it in the shower room. Hahahaha! But I'm OK with this. Washing my hands in cold water and then blowing them dry with hot air is cool with me. I'll survive.

If you are active in Berlin you will need a backpack. This is a necessity for traveling around Berlin. The good backpacks here in Berlin are crazy expensive so I waited until I went back to Atlanta to buy this nice backpack (pic one) from walmart. It only cost 15 bucks and it can hold A LOT. There's a similar backpack like this one here in Berlin and it cost 72 euros. That's the benefits of being an American. If I see something that is too expensive here I can always go to Atlanta and get it dirt cheap.

The second pic is my membership card. This card is used to get into all of the gyms and to lock and unlock my locker. Cool huh? So far Wilmersdorf and Chalottenberg has these locker features. What you do is put your stuff in your locker and close the door.

Place your card over the yellow sign and you're hear a loud "click" sound. That means your locker is lock. To make sure your locker is locked simply look at the light on the door. If it's blinking then it means that your locker is open. If it stays lit that means that your locker is locked. When you are ready to open your locker just put the card back on the yellow sign and you're hear another loud "click" and your locker will open automatically. Your card is the only card that can open your locker. If someone else takes their card and place it over the yellow sign the locker won't open. All cards have a chip inside that is unique and original from the others.

Oh by the way, if you are self conscious about your body then don't come into McFit between 5 - 6:30AM because the cleaning crew is full of men and they are allowed to be in the female locker room during that time to clean up. They're a bunch of nice guys and if you really have a problem with them being in there while you're getting dressed I'm sure they will leave if you ask them to. I personally don't have a problem with it and let them do their thing while I get dressed (but then again I like being nude in front of vanilla folks).  These guys are pretty respectable and focus strictly on cleaning the locker room so you don't have to worry about them taking a sneak peek at you while touching their man parts in the process.

The best time to come into a gym like this if you're a serious lifter is in the morning or any time before 2:00PM. I've noticed that all the serious people come in during that time. Actually, the best of the best come to McFit during that time so that they can get a serious workout in. However, if you come after 2pm (especially after 4pm) you will have to deal with a huge crowd of "posers" coming in there and hogging up all the machines with their bullshit workout. The guys who come in the weight lifting room during this time are a JOKE! None of them are much to look at and they are far from impressive. They are either too skinny or overweight with huge guts similar to an 8 month pregnancy. What's really funny about this crowd of men in the weight lifting section (located on the top floor) is that they all lift "pussy weights". Seeing a grown man curl a 20lb dumbbell while taking 5 minute breaks in between his 8 sets of 20 reps is laughable. These guys aren't really working out. They are there to socialize. Women lifting weights on the top floor was never done until I came there. (Yes, I asked.) I've been going there consistently for the past 6 months and I'm still the only woman in there lifting weights!!! If I come after 2PM then I'm usually the strongest one there which is a shame when you think about it. But when I come in the morning I'm surrounded by men who are powerlifters, bodybuilders or normal gym rats. These guys are much stronger than me and they lift heavier too (and that's how it's suppose to be). I know that extreme fitness is an Amereican thing and I take that into consideration every time I go in there to work out.

Oh by the way, I fail to mention that McFit has lots of cardio machines. I know I'm dwelling on the awesome weight lifting equipment they have but in my opinion cardio machines are a given. All gyms will have good cardio machines (treadmills, elliptical, rowers, bicycles, etc) but finding a gym that has free weights and hardcore muscle building machines is not easy here in good ole' Germany.

The U-Bahn

The Berliners here may think they have the best water in all of Germany which far from the truth. Actually the water here in Germany sucks as a whole (but I'll talk about that later). However, when it comes to bragging right the Germans do have the right to say that their subway system is the best in the country. Hell, I dare to say that the subway stations here are one of the best in Europe. The train system here in Berlin is absolutely awesome. As a typical American who MUST OWN a car I am proud to say that the train system here in Berlin is so good that I don't want to own a car while here. Yes, it's that good!

U-Bahn is short for Untergrundbahn.  Untergrund means underground and bahn is short for bahnhof which means one of three things "railway, station or highway" The highway is called Autobahn and the subway that runs above ground is called the S-Bahn. I'll talk about those later next month. For now, let's just focus on the wonderful train system known as the U-Bahn. 

If you're ever drunk out of your ass and find yourself wondering around Berlin lost then look for one of these big "U" signs. The U-bahn is so easy to use that little kids ride it without parental supervision. Unlike America, seeing a 6 or 7 year old child ride the U-bahn to school or home is not uncommon. Not only is it easy for them but it's very safe. Child snatching is not common here like the States and everyone looks out for their safety anyway so these kiddes are always protected.

This is the U-bahn a block up from my gym. The train lines that are running in a particular station is usually labeled under the "U" symbol. Here at the U-banh Berliner Strasse there are two train lines running. The U9 and the U7. Remember - U9/U7 means untergrund-7/untergrund-9. Unlike the signs in Atlanta, GA the names of the train stations are big and easy to read.

So once you go downstairs you'll notice these signs on the wall. This is the outline of the stops for the U7 line. These signs are idiot proof. The first sign gives you the entire line from start to finish. However, it also let you know which stops have S-bahn, ICE, Regional and other U-bahn connections by looking at the symbols to the left of the station name listed. It also lets you know which subway stations have elevators. That sounds crazy but trust me it's necessary because most train stations don't have elevators (or escalators) so if you're wheelchair bound then your choice in traveling is very limited.

The second and third picture shows the direction of the train line. If the station name is in gray then this particular train won't go there. It only goes to the stations listed in black. See? Very easy to follow right?

Ok so now it's time to pay to get on the train. Unlike America, there's no security ticket gate at the entrances or exits in the U-bahn stations. The BVG which owns the U-bahn goes by the honor system. What you do is go to the touch screen machine (in pic 1 and 2) and press the button for your choice of tickets. A short trip (3 stations) is 1.30 euros one way and a longer trip within the AB section is 2.10 euros. I'm not going to go into the details of what AB or BC tickets mean. These machines can be programmed in 8 different languages so if you're interested in educating yourself simply go to one of them and read up on it. Orrrrrrrrrrr you can do what I did and get a German friend (waves at Jim) to teach you.

Ok so once you put 2.10 in the machine you'll get this small little ticket located in pic 1. Once you get your ticket you have to stick it in the ticket  validater located in picture two and three.

then when you take it out your ticket will have this stamp with a hole at the bottom on it like this

Now I know what most of you all are thinking right now "They don't have a security gate or guard standing at the entrance to prevent people from train hopping? Fuck that! Why in the hell would I need to buy a ticket then?" Well let me tell you. Even though they don't have security gates, cameras or guards at the entrances they do have these people who come on the train to check to see if you have a ticket. They call these people "ticket controllers" and they get on the trains to see if you have a ticket. Unlike Bavaria the ticket controllers here in Berlin don't wear uniforms. They wear regular clothes and blend in with the other folks so if you are riding without a ticket you can't see them coming and hop off the train.
These folks are pretty slick. They get on the train as if they are normal riders and as soon as the doors lock close they announce themselves loudly in German and everybody reaches for their tickets to show them as they walk down the aisle of the train. If you are caught without a ticket they ask for either your passport, driver's license or visa. They place your information into their little machine (that they hide under their coat or jacket) and then give you a 40 euro ticket. You have up to 30 days to pay the ticket, if you wait after 30 days it will cost 50 euros. If you don't pay this fine after 30 days they will put it on your visa or passport profile and when you try to leave Germany the police will stop you at the passport check booth and make you pay the 50 euros or you won't be allow to leave. Hahahahahahaa! The BVG want their money!!!

Now truth be told, the ticket controller doesn't come on the same train line everyday. I've been back here from Atlanta  for 3 weeks now and I haven't seen any of them on my train line yet (The day after typing this my train had two ticket controllers come on board). I also know their work schedule so when they are working I ALWAYS buy a ticket whether they come on my train line or not (I don't risk it) and when they are not working I don't. A cool guy from New York taught me the tricks of the trade for the U-bahn system. BTW - Americans will look out for each other here and will always give you the inside info. The Germans on the other hand are ..........um?............too honest. LOL!

This system is much cheaper than the US. There is no price jack-up for "rush hour" times and you have up to 2 hours to ride on each ticket (one way only though). For example. Let's say that I want to go home but I need to go grocery shopping first. What I do is buy a one way ticket and get on the train. Two stations later I get off and grocery shop for an hour. When I finish I simply get back on the train and go home. I don't have to pay to get on and I don't have to pay to get off. I can use the same ticket to get on and off as long as it's used within 2 hours.

If you're lost and need directions or having a health emergency then you can use one of these things located in the center of every train station. Personally, I avoid these things like the plague because they are loud and very embarrassing. What you do is push the bottom button for information and speak into the mic located by the words hier sprechen which means "speak here". Some loud ass chick will speak to you through the speaker located at the top and when I say loud I mean LOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUDDDDD! I saw one man try to use this thing and as soon as he heard how loud the speaker was on this machine he walked away. Hahahahaha!

My advice, if you need help with direction ask one of the people standing around. The Germans love to help lost foreigners find their way to their destination.

Above each stairway is a sign to tell you which side each train will run on. In the above pic the U7 going to Rudow is to the left and the U7 going to Rahaus Spandau in on the right. They also announce each stop on the train10 second upon arriving.

This sign will tell you what train is running on the track (The U7). What destination it's heading to (Rathaus Spandau) and how many minutes the next one will come (2 minutes). If you want to know what time it is they have clocks all over the place. Germans love to be punctual. ;-)

The U-bahn is very punctual. They run as early as every 4 - 6 minutes during the day and 10 - 15 minutes at night and start at 5AM. The train run as late as 1AM Monday - Thursday, 24 hours on Friday and Saturday and up to 12 midnight on Sunday. Awesome right? Now you see why I don't want a car while I'm in Berlin?

Another thing I like about the U-bahn is the very detailed signs. I'm on my way to my German language class and Wilmersdorfer Strasse is where I get off. Notice how the sign tells you which exit goes to which street and which direction is the S Bahn. It also let you know which side of the train line you're on. Very easy and simple to use. I have to go into the direction of Pestalozzistrasse and I need to go upstairs and then exit left.

So let's say I had a brain fart and forgot that quickly in the last 5 10 seconds where I was suppose to go. Well when I get upstairs all I have to do is look at this sign on the wall and I'll remember "Oh yeah, I'm suppose to go to the left"

And let's say that I am still uncertain where to go even though I just read the other sign 2 seconds ago and I am drinking 16oz of Dumbass, there will still be signs at the exit way pointing me in the direction I need to go AGAIN! When I say that the U-Bahn is idiot proof believe me...................it's very idiot proof.

 By the way, remember when I mentioned earlier that most U-bahn stations don't have elevators. Well the same goes for escalators. As many of my German friends know I am not a fan of stairs, especially if I workout out my legs in the gym the day of or before. When it comes to stairs I always pitch a bitch when I have to go up them because I used most of my muscles and energy in the gym earlier that morning. When you do as much exercise and cardio as I do the last thing you want to do is hike up some fucking stairs during your leisure time. One time when slave jonas and I were riding the S-bahn we had to hike up a long flight of stairs to get to the train. I practically had to lean on him half the way there. I would have to say that this is the only thing I don't like about the U-bahn stations here in Berlin but this is very minor. I wouldn't care if all the stations had stairs, I would still be a huge fan of Berlin's U-bahn station.

My School

This is my school where I learn German. It's called Volkshochschule which is known as Vocational School in the US. Here they have cooking classes, art classes, etc. This one is located in Wilmersdorf and is one of the best in Berlin. It's not far from where I live and I take the U-Bahn to it Monday - Friday. They offer several class options. You can take German once a week in the evening (which I don't recommend), twice a week in the evening, 4 - 5 times a week in the afternoon or 4 - 5 times a week in the morning. I take my classes in the morning from 9AM - 1PM Monday - Friday. However, I leave early on Friday because I have to be at the Studio by 12PM. If you're serious about learning German you will have to take an intensive course. GERMAN IS NOT AN ENGLISH LANGUAGE TO LEARN!!!!!!!! I have a few friends here who take the class once a week and they can't order food by themselves after 6 months. I was able to do it in 2 months because of my regular scheduled classes. Many Americans who come here don't bother to learn the language at all because it's too difficult. I can't say that I blame them, especially, if they live in the P-Berg area (as most Americans do) they don't have to worry about learning German because a huge majority of people and businesses speak English. As a matter of fact Prenzlauer Berg (P-Berg) is full of folks from England, America, Canada, Australia, Brazil and South Africa so they are not forced to speak German because everybody is speaking English. I don't have that privilege and personally I don't want it. I purposely put myself in an area of Berlin where either the people are too scared to speak English or they don't know English at all. So I have no choice but to speak the language. The more I speak it the better I get.

So here are my classmates. There are 9 of us in here but the other 4 were out getting something to eat. The first day of class starts off with 25 - 26 people. Then three days later it drops down to 20. A week later it drops down to 18, a week after that 16 and then finally on the 3rd week we have only 12 folks. The thing is that Germany has this crazy ass social system that gives money for basically everything to any citizen or residence who is willing to lie for it. (I'll bust out a HUGE rant on that bullshit later). Anywho, so as soon as their name is reported that they attended the the first 2 days of class the German government cuts them a check for the school instead of paying the school personally and then those fuckers bounce out of there with the money. Once they got their money they NEVER come back. The people who usually stay in class from start to finish are those who MUST learn the language in order to stay here. I have taken two courses so far and most of my classmates have been women who speak Spanish or Portuguese as a first language while everyone else is from all over the world. Fortunately, everyone speaks English so if you want to communicate to each other it won't be a problem. I am actually very good friends with the female standing in the back row in all gray is from New Zealand and we were like the cool chicks in the class. She is a funny and we would make private jokes about the teacher when our teacher wasn't in earshot. She is a ball of fun and cool too! 

Ok so there are some minor things that erks the shit of me here in Germany and these handrails are an example. In my school all the handrails have these metal round balls on them to prevent people from sliding down the rail. There were times when I would forget that these damn things were there and bruised my hand while going down the stairs. WTF? First of all let me say that this school is full of GROWN FOLKS so why in the hell would these things need to be here? I think it's stupid, Stupid, STUPID! 

Anywho, besides that fuckery above I really like my school and I enjoy learning German there. Not all schools are created equal though. There are a few that have bad teachers or the class is full of turks who just don't give a fuck so they slow the rest of the class down. But the Volkshochschule in Wilmersdorf-Challotenberg is top rated. Small classes, great teachers and good classmates. I highly recommend it.

to be continued.

If you have any comments or questions feel free to post them here. You don't have to have a LJ account to post.
comments: 5 comments or Leave a comment

Subject:The Kit Kat Klub in Berlin
Time:09:23 am
Current Mood:bouncybouncy

Before I begin I need to give two definitions for those of you who live outside the US. These descriptions are taken from the Urban Dictionary found here


 Booshie (slang) –  a. Pretentious. Probably derived from "bourgeois" = middle-class, conventional values and materialism. b. Someone stuck up, considers themselves better than others, talks, acts, and thinks they are the shit and cocky.

 Slum (also slang) – a. Poor quality, poor performance, not necessarily referring to poverty. A sad, destitute state. Evidence of decline (in quality).

  As a very open minded person I attract all kinds of people in my life. I’m excellent at allowing people to be themselves as long as they are not drama queens. I also have zero tolerance for emotional vampires and the “poor me” people. Anywho, back to what I was saying. I have ghetto friends and I have booshie friends. Personally I considered myself in between. A little mixture of both. That is until I went to Berlin’s Kit Kat Klub. OMG! Let me tell ya'll something. After attending that club I realized that when it comes to BDSM and D/s I am booshie as they come. Now my girl dante_posh , she the princess of booshie but even I out did her this past Saturday.

I have been to many kink clubs around the world so I can tell the difference between the good ones from the bad ones. For the record, The Kit Kat Klub in Munich is VERY GOOD. I highly recommend this club. It’s full of great people with lots of eye candy for both men and women. Lots of individual rooms for kink play, sex, swinging, talking, etc. I’m not gonna give a full review on KKKlub in Munich. All I’m gonna say is that it’s probably one of the best fetish clubs I ever been to. If you decide to go, you will not be disappointed. I promise!

 The KKKlub in Berlin (in my opinion) is the slum of all fetish clubs in Germany. I will never bring my sexy ass to that place again. First of all, let’s talk about the club itself. The front part had white leather furniture with unidentifiable stains in them. After sitting in a small pile of gum over 10 years ago I’ve been looking where I sit ever since. When I kept seeing too many stains on those coaches I opt for a wooden chair instead.
The music was good but in the dancing area there was a small stage with three stripper poles and a very obese half naked woman (with zero rhythm) dancing on it. She occupied the entire mini stage with breast sagging all the way down to her knees. She had so many rolls of fat on her body that the michelin man would look in envy. I wanted so badly to walk up to old girl and tell her to put some damn clothes on because she’s weakening my stomach but she was so high off her ass that my words would have been pointless. Unfortunately, she wasn’t the only one who should have put on some clothes. Two very old wrinkled up men decided that it was a good idea to walk around the entire club butt ass naked. Both hung like ants on a cold winter’s day. YUK! This club had is fair share of senior citizens. I don’t know if there was a discount on people over 60 that night but seeing a bunch of elders in a kink club was not the business!

Another downer was the smoking. It seemed like everybody (except the ladies I was with) was smoking in there. The ceilings were so low that the cigarette smoke filled the entire club. My clothes, hair and body reeked of cigarette smoke. Apparently the cigarette ban was not enforced in this club and it looks like it never will. OH! OH! But I’m not finished. The only eye candy up in there were the gay men. I shit you not. Mostly everybody in there looked like shit except the gays. All the men with great bodies were gay. All the men who were attractive were gay. All the men who had rhythm on the dance floor were gay. All the men who wore anything remotely fetish were gay. Now as a certified “hag” this was very pleasing to my eyes however, I don’t get off on salivating over food I’ll never eat for long so I stopped watching the beautiful gay men and focused on getting some fresh air (which was a big fail but that’s another story).

 Oh wait, I forgot to mention something else. Unlike the KKKlub in Munich this one had zero playing equipment. No crosses, spanking benches, suspension racks. …………NOTHING! There also weren't any private playing rooms. No swingers rooms, No voyeur/exhibitionist room. No performance stage. Nothing! In short it was just a smoked infested slum hole full of people who looked like the inbreds rednecks from True Blood (minus the gays).This club was nothing like the one in Munich.

 When it comes to this lifestyle I am a booshie bitch. This is why I ONLY accept high quality bottoms to be my private slaves. If you see me call someone “My slave” you can rest assure that they are top notch. I also associate myself with high quality dommes. If you’re a poser and have the nerve to call yourself Mistress, Lady, Goddess, Domina, etc I won’t have anything to do with you. The same goes for these dommes who are so hard up for money that they throw frequent walmart specials with an occasional dick suck in order to get sessions.

 The kink clubs that I have attended in Berlin are beneath me. I refuse to go to another one. From now on the only thing I will attend in Berlin are fetish conventions, Avalon play parties and private events. My days of lowering my standards for these slum fetish clubs here in Berlin are over. In my opinion the Kit Kat Klub in Berlin is for the common people while the Kit Kat Klub in Munich is for the people with class.

Hmmmm? Let me change that up a bit because that sound too harsh. OK, I'll rewrite it in a better way.

The Kit Kat Klub in Berlin is for people who eat with their hands while the Kat Kat Klub in Munich is for people who eat with utensils.

There! That sounds better. **snickers**

Goddess Amazon
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Subject:Brace yourselves! Delta done good by me!
Time:11:15 am
Current Mood:bouncybouncy

Ok so since today is not filled with madness allow me to share my flight experience back to Atlanta from Berlin last week. Before I do that I must give you all a brief back story. Some of it can be found at the bottom paragraph of this LJ entry http://goddessamazon.livejournal.com/214586.html


Since Delta fucked up (with the help of JFK airport) they upgraded me to first class from New York to Berlin two months ago. This was my first time flying first class internationally. However, I was very sick on this flight and didn’t really get a chance to enjoy the experience. The flight staff  felt sorry for me and they purposely got me drunk so that I could sleep. I guess I looked really pitiful sitting there. I wasn’t coughing, sneezing or blowing my nose. I just felt achy all over, fatigue and congested. One stewardess took a liking to me and practically “babied” me the entire trip there. I told her that I’m pretty pissed off to be sick because that was my first time flying in first/business class overseas. <--- remember this part.


So fast forward to Tegel Airport in Berlin on August the 24th. I check in and answer 50 billion questions because I picked the emergency seats to fly back to the states. I have long legs so I  always pick the window seat in the emergency section if they are available. So the lady gives me my ticket and tells me what gate to go to. So when it’s time to board the plane the man who swipes my ticket tells me to stand off to the side because there’s a mistake with my seat. So of course my first thought was “Oh lawrd! What the fuck is wrong now? Fuckin’ Delta!” After a few minutes later he motions me to come back over to him. He tells me that I’m being moved to first class as a request from Delta Airline Staff. I give a big smile followed by a “What?”


“Yes, it seems that you really impressed one of the stewardesses on your last flight here to berlin. She put in a request for you to fly first class if a seat becomes available.”


I was speechless. All I could do was just stand there with a big ass smile on my face. He gave me my ticket and off I went. I sat beside this nice lady from Poland and we became instant friends. We talked, laughed and even watched the same movies together on our individual screens. THIS WAS A FIRST. Usually when I get on a plane I put my headset on to my IPOD and go to sleep. I never make nice with the person I'm sitting beside. Unfortunately, they didn’t have any sweet wine on the plane so I didn’t do any drinking but the food was great. The staff was OK. not as friendly as the last crew. The flight got to JFK 45 minutes early. YES! Let me type that shit again. My Delta flight arrived 45 minutes EARLY!!!!!!!!!  I was so pleased with that flight that I decided to go to delta.com and write a good review.


Now the question of the day is why did they put in the computer system to bump me up to first class on this flight? Did the stewardess feel sorry for me from my last flight? Is Delta trying to improve their customer service? Or is this just good karma coming back my way?


Who knows? One thing for sure, that was the best flight I ever had. I really enjoyed myself and I am happy to say that Delta Airlines is officially off my shit list (for now). :)

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Subject:FUCK JFK AIRPORT!!!!!!!
Time:11:06 am

I will never ever ever ever make another connection at that shit hole again (unless I have a 5 hour layover). I don’t know who manage that place but whoever calls the shots must have an IQ of a brick!


The first time I had a connection there my flight was canceled so I had to get into this line to get rebooked. The ticket booking desk only had 2 people working with over 150 people standing in line! I am not exaggerating. After standing in line for over 2 hours somebody thought it would be a good idea to get 6 more people at the desk to help out. Wow! I wonder how long it took them to come up with that genius idea!  20 minutes later I was assisted and given a new ticket. Did I mention that the airport was extremely COLD?! UGH!


The second time (which was last week) I had a two and a half hour layover. Ok first of all, why in the hell did I have to take an airtrain to a building just to walk outside to go into terminal 2? WTF? I never seen any fuckery like this before in my life. Oh! Oh! It gets better. Once I get inside, I have to hall my luggage up two flights of stars because the escalator and elevator were out of order. Broke ass New York!
When I finally get up there and walk to the security check point area there’s a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge line. Thank goodness my flight was 45 minutes early because I used all of that just to get to that point. So I examine the entire scene and noticed that there was a long line for Business Class/Priority flyers. There was an even longer line for regular flyers and then there was a short line for emergency flyers. Security was guarding the emergency line and the Priority flyer line. If you were standing in the big ass long line with 1 hour to spare before your flight takes off, the security guard would allow you to go into the emergency line ahead of everyone else. But that’s not the issue here. The issue is that the dumbass fuckers at JFK airport thought it would make sense to have only one person check ID and tickets for all three lines!!!!


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME????? You got one guy checking ID and tickets for everybody?????????????? Oh and once you got through that point you had to wait in another long line because there were only two TSA scanners available. I rarely show my ass in public but this was just too much. I went to the security guard and pitched a bitch. I have a flight leaving in two hours and boarding starts in one hour in fifteen minutes. This line is a minimum 2 hours long. How the fuck am I gonna make my flight?  Why in the hell do you have only one person checking ID for three  lines?


OMG! I was so heated! I wouldn’t shut up either. I would yell out loud “I hate this fucking airport. I’ll never come here again. Never, ever, ever, ever!” I guess I said the right number of “never evers” because the security guard pulled me out of the line and put me into the emergency line so I could shut the fuck up. Once I got to my gate they were boarding the plane.


What a way to end a perfect flight! Hear me out folks. If you need to make a connection in New York DO NOT DO IT AT JFK. I repeat do not make a connection flight at JFK! That place is operated by idiots! A true shit hole.

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Subject:These Skinhead Nazi boys got me confused!!!!
Time:04:51 pm
Current Mood:calmcalm
I'm chillin with Madame Christina until it's time for me to leave for Atlanta. I moved out of my old apartment this past Friday and will be moving into my new one when I come back from Atlanta. However, that place is only temporary until I find a bigger and better place to live.

Anywho, so today she and I decide to go for a walk today in the outskirts of Berlin. While walking she spots two nazi skinheads walking across the street in the opposite direction of us. I'm not much of a people watcher so I didn't pay them any attention until she said something. So as we crossed the street they both stared directly at me and I made sure to mug those motherfuckers back! Remember, always look an enemy in the eyes. NEVER LOOK DOWN OR AWAY because they will detect that as weakness.

So we forget all about them as we walk into the woods on the jogging trail. After walking for a few minutes Christina turned around and noticed that those fuckers were behind us (several feet away). I immediately stop walking and turn around. Yup, there they were walking behind us. So I put my right foot behind my body and got into a fighting stance. Ain't no way in the hell I'm gonna get punked by some pussy ass nazi skinheads here in Berlin. When I did this they both walked a far distance away and around me continuing to go forward ahead of us. As they past by one of them got a look at my muscular arms. They also realized that I'm not from Africa when I said out loud "I'm the wrong bitch to fuck with today!"

Let me explain what I mean by that. You see, there are a lot of Africans here in Berlin. When it comes to the blacks here I would say that 55% are from Africa, 25% were born here, 20% come from other countries (UK, US, Caribbean, etc). Now the Africans are scared to death of anyone remotely connected to the Nazis. They will run, jump and/or hide at the sight of a nazi member miles away. These people have no backbone whatsoever. So these Nazis never travel outside Germany so they don't know the difference between these scary ass Africans and the "I'll fuck your ass up" negros from America. So when they see a black person they automatically assume they are from Africa and start to harrass them.

Ok so let me get back to my story. So when these fools realized that I was ready to fight in addition to looking "jacked" and realizing that I'm an American, they thought twice about starting some shit with me and walked away from us for good.

Here's the thing. I can count on one hand how many times I have accidentally encountered some Klansman in a rest stop or waffle house. Of course the entire situation caught me off guard but I never showed fear in my eyes. So if I'm not gonna "go yella" for any member of the KKK then I'm sure in the hell ain't gonna act like a pussy in front of some bitch ass nazis. Not to mention that both of those bitches were 5'8" and skinny. I would say that they weighed no more than 145lbs each. Shit, I bench press more than that as a warm up set when I'm in the gym!

So there you go folks. My first and hopefully last encounter with German Nazis.
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Subject:Germany experience #122
Time:02:07 am
Ok so I gotta post two entries up today since I have a little time. The first one is about how Germany prides itself on making things difficult instead of simple. I love this country and the people here but one thing that pisses me off or has me shaking my head is how they REFUSE to make things simple around here. It's as if making anything simple or convenient is illegal or something. I can give a shit load of examples but let me give you one that has pissed me off today.

Ok so you know how you can walk up into a well known bank such as Wachovia, Bank of America, Chase, etc and open up a bank account? So let's say I opened a bank account in Atlanta with Wachovia. If I happen to move to Florida, Texas, Maryland, California or Arizonia I can still use the same checks, bankcard and account number as long as there is a Wachovia bank in that State or city. Not Germany! Even though the banks here in Germany are the same it's a different process if you use the SAME BANK in another part of Germany.

Here's a personal example.

I opened up a bank account in Stuttgart with Volksbank. I stayed there for 2 weeks before heading to Berlin and I wanted to get the US Dollars out of my hands and into an account ASAP. So after living in Berlin for a month I walked to the nearest Volksbank in my neighborhood to deposit some money. The cashier told me that it would cost me 10 euros (13 USD) to do that. I gave a quick WTF face and said "Why do I have to pay money to deposit money?!” The cashier had this embarrassing look on his face because he too realized how stupid this was and said “We are the same bank yes but your account is with Volksbank in Stuttgart and not Volksbank here in Berlin so it cost money to withdraw and deposit from your account.”

“Even though it’s with the same bank?!!!”
I yelled in disbelief
“Unfortunately, yes” he replied.

Stupid right? Oh but I’m not finished.

So 4 months later I decided to bite the bullet and open a new bank account in the same damn bank here in Berlin and close the one I have in Stuttgart. So after sitting in the bank office for damn near an hour in fifteen minutes because the bank manager insist that I stay there while she typed all this shit on the computer and filled out all this paperwork in my presence. Of course telling me to go get something to eat and come back in an hour to sign the papers would have been too easy right? But in her defense she did offer me a glass of water while I sat there bored to death.

So now I opened up my new account here in berlin and sent a notice to my first bank to close my account in Stuttgart.

NOW HERE WHERE IT GETS FUN LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! (try to keep up with this shit ok?)

For Germany to be so anal about recycling, they waste a lot of fucking paper with new accounts. Check out the series of EXTRA mail I get in the next two weeks.

•    First letter is a welcome letter reminding me that I opened up an account DUH? This letter also warns notifies me that a series of other letters are coming my way.
•    Two days later I get a letter which gives me my online account number and pin but I can’t use this yet because I have to wait for my TAN list to come in the mail.

A TAN list is a sheet of paper that has six numbers listed from 1 – 150. When I go to the bank’s website to open my online account I must enter long ass number that was mailed to me in the first letter along with the pin code. Then I have to change that pin code to a pin code of my own, However, I can’t do that without using the numbers from the TAN List. Confusing? Allow me to explain.

Every time I change my pin number, transfer money. Pay a bill, email the bank office, etc I will be asked to enter a specific TAN number from the list mailed to me. If I don’t have this paper with all these silly numbers on it then I’m fucked. So let’s say I just changed my old pin and created a new pin. The website will say, in order to complete this command you must enter the 6 numbers from your TAN list by number 14.

13. 694862
14. 247810
15. 849321

So I have to take this sheet of paper, look at number 14 and enter 247810 and then hit OK. No matter where I am in the world. If I every want to do anything with my online account besides check my balance…….I Must enter in these stupid ass random numbers every time!

•    Ok so the next day my prepaid bank card comes in. Now in America I have a credit card (Visa) that is connected with my bank account. I use this card like a credit card but all the money comes directly out of my bank account (it’s a debit card). They don’t have that here in Germany. Why? Because it’s too simple to give you a credit card that is connected to your bank account. Applying for a prepaid account that is separate from your bank account makes much more sense. <------sarcasm. As of today I have no idea how to activate my prepay card because I want to get the online registration out of the way first.
•    So two days after that I get my bank card which is just a plain bank card and not a debit credit card. Pfft! However, I can’t use that because I don’t have a pin number. Oh and if you thought that I could create my own pin number like I can in the US then you better think again. Remember! This is Germany. Creating your own pin number that you can easily remember is just way too simple and easy!
•    The next day (provided that it’s not the weekend) the TAN list comes in the mail.
•    Three days after that the pin number for my bankcard arrives. If I lose or forget my assigned pin number then I must destroy the old card and wait for a new card to come along with a NEW ASSIGNED pin number days later. 

And there you have it Ladies and Gentleman. The long, complicated and drawn out process of having a bank account here in Deutschland!

Are we having fun yet?
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